Wednesday, November 28, 2018

After Me Processes in the US


Immediately After Me

Arrangements for Hindu funeral in the US are more complex for various reasons. Local funeral homes suggest elaborate and highly expensive processes that are not part of the Hindu tradition. Local Hindu temples and their priests do the processes according to the Hindu traditions. But, there are many steps to the proper disposal of the body – temples do not handle them. Families need such information and various options available to families.

I wrote to a couple of local temples asking them to do some information research and place some notes on their websites. Here are main points from my note.

1. Recently, someone asked me for information on what to do immediately after. I asked friends and searched the website. I found a useful document at the link (HACSI) http://www.hacsiusa.org/useful-information/antyeshti/. While it has good information, there are still some gaps. I think we need to develop a guide that lets people take action in a time of grief and some confusion.

The problem is accentuated with handlers who do not know the Hindu tradition. Hence, it will be nice if some knowledgeable Hindu association prepares a document and also instructs local Funeral Homes. Following their own processes and methods, Funeral homes would suggest several traditional processes and arrangements common with other than Hindu traditions. This will lead to unnecessary expenses running into several thousand dollars, which could be a big burden for some families and an unnecessary expense for some families.

2. As I searched for information, I came to the following options:
a) Donating the body:
I found that next of kin can donate the body and there are some limitations. The following link provides information.
Contact: State Anatomy Board Bressler Research Building, Room B-026 655 West Baltimore Street Baltimore, Maryland 21201-1559 410-547-1222 Day or Night 1-800-879-2728 In State Toll Free 410-706-8107 Fax
 b) Burial:
Most Funeral Homes do this process.
It is important to develop guidelines on when Hindus would opt for this process and what role, if any, that Hindu priests would play.
c) Cremation:
It appears that Funeral Homes would offer their facilities and Hindu priests would conduct the ceremony. More details are needed as described later.
d) Transport to another country:
This may be needed in some special cases.

3. I looked at the websites of a few local Funeral Homes and only Chambers Funeral Home (http://www.chambersfuneralhomes.com/) mentioned “Pyre for Hindu Funeral.”

It will be helpful if the following items are addressed:
a) Prepare a list of funeral homes that know the Hindu processes.
b) Prepare a list of services that the Funeral home should offer to Hindus.
c) Such a list may have essential services and optional services with pre-negotiated prices. This is best done by an Association.

4. The Hindu Ceremony:
The HACSI document provided a list of temples and a list of priests with contact information.
However, in this case also, it will be helpful if a list of minimal services and optional services and their costs (priest charges and other expenses) are presented.

Some cases should also be considered and guidance provided in terms of who (among the family members or others) may perform the services.
a) When a son is not present.
b) When there is no son.
c) When a son is physically or otherwise not able to perform services.
d) When a son has not had the Upanayanam (Thread ceremony) or is no longer a Hindu.
e) It is possible that a family may prefer to pay a person to perform the services. A list of persons (their contact information) who may provide such services and the charges may be helpful.  

5. Preparing a Guidance Document:
I suggest that SSVT, or Hindu Temples Association, or HACSI take lead and prepare such a document. I will try to contact you to discuss how this task can be accomplished.
I appreciate if you respond to this email note so that I can call and set up an appointment to discuss.

I am hoping to develop a preliminary and simple set of instructions.

6. More References:

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